Divorce and Religion

One of the less desirable aspects of my place in life is offering guidance to folks whose marriages are falling to pieces. Don't get me wrong, I am glad to help, that is what I do; but it is painful to hear the stories of betrayal, disappointment, etc.

I have recently had a situation come to me where a couple has been married for about three years. Two years into the marriage the wife became a Christian and has been struggling to get off dope. The husband is a frequent user and she often falls into trouble with him and gets back on drugs. Recently she was physically in danger and called the police but did not press charges and a few days later he moved back in.

It is hard to know what to say to a person in that situation. No one should live in physical danger, on the other hand God hates divorce.

Many of my convictions in the past on divorce and remarriage (which impact me at many levels, i.e. ordination of deacons, re-marriage...) has been my evolving understanding of what Jesus said in Mt 5 & 19 concerning marital unfaithfulness. The context of his comments is adultery, but you have to wonder if there is something in the fine print about the sort of situations this woman is in.

1 Cor 7 comes into play. What is a believing wife to do with an unbelieving spouse. I will never forget the time this lady told me that she was being led to get a divorce from her husband because he refused to walk with God. She married less than two years later. I don't think that is what Paul had in mind.

Eph 5 is tough to apply because you can easily get lopsided with it. 'Submit' is a military term. The context is clear. However, there is an oft ignored second command for husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church. Then there is the whole equity in Christ business (neither male nor female).

Just thinking out loud here.

I advised a period of mutually agreed upon separation and some substance abuse counseling. They need to treat the two issues separately. As it is said, "How do you eat an elephant?" " A piece at a time."

Rev.