Truth, inside.

I often turn to the Psalms for help. In times of sorrow, or fear, sleepless nights, teeth grinding days. Of all the Psalms, the one that turn to most often is Psalm 51. It is a “penitential” Psalm, that is to say it is written from the perspective of a person who has sinned and is humbly approaching the Lord for forgiveness. The context is scandalous, it follows David's adultery with Bathsheba, arguably one of the darker periods in Israel's history. The Clinton scandal was gross, the Bathsheba scandal was down right ugly, and David knew good and well that he had done wrong.
There are some stand out passages, ones that have spurred theological debates (v.5), ones you will recognize from praise choruses (v.10-12), etc. but v.6 has struck me time and again:
Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being... Ps 51:6a
Truth, inside.

In Matthew 23, Jesus lays down the law (metaphorically speaking) on the Pharisees. The most stinging of his critiques from an Ancient Mediterranean religious perspective was his accusation that the Pharisees were whitewashed tombs (whited sepulchres, KJV). This seems strange to us, to accuse someone of being a lovely grave, but trust me, it hurt. The Old Testament forbid holy persons from touching the remains of the dead. This was actually used against the Jews during a feud between they and the Samaritans when the latter spread bones among the Temple courts to prevent the Jews from observing Pesach1. In other words, He told the Pharisees that no matter how holy they appeared (white-washed) they were unholy within, full of rottenness and corruption.

When I was a boy, my family visited the Vicksburg battlefield, a site of one of the more brutal battles in the Civil War. Among the tombs were some magnificent tombs to commanders who had died there, and not far from there were row after row of simple headstones. No matter how lovely one was on the exterior, inside the contents were the same. Dressing up a tomb doesn't change the fact that it is filled with decay.

What this has to do with us is quite simple. When God looks into our “innermost being”, does He find truth or duplicity? Is the person that our employers, fellow employees, friends, etc. know on the outside, the same as the one that resides within us. Surely there are facets of who we are that are private, tucked away, as it should be, but you know what I mean. Who are you... really? What does your heart long for, your mind wander to when you are alone. When you are laying in bed at night, are you wishing that you could be yourself, or worse, that you could be the person you project to others?

A friend of mine from back in the Red River Valley was much closer to his grandfather than to his won father. At his grandfather's funeral, the minster made a statement that will never leave me, “This man was the same person all the time.” In a world of shifting sands, kaleidoscopic morality, and waning chivalry, what a compliment. May the same be paid to us by those who know us, and by He who knows us best.