As the Ruin Falls

Some years back, my friend Chris was immersed in C.S. Lewis at OBU and uncovered the little known fact that Lewis was not only a brilliant scholar, theologian, and fiction author, BUT was indeed quite the accomplished poet. One of his more challenging and revealing works is the following work. I know it cuts me to the bone every time I read it.

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As the Ruin Falls

All this is flashy rhetoric about loving you.
I never had a selfless thought since I was born.
I am mercenary and self-seeking through and through:
I want God, you, all friends, merely to serve my turn.

Peace, re-assurance, pleasure, are the goals I seek,
I cannot crawl one inch outside my proper skin:
I talk of love --a scholar's parrot may talk Greek--
But, self-imprisoned, always end where I begin.

Only that now you have taught me (but how late) my lack.
I see the chasm. And everything you are was making
My heart into a bridge by which I might get back
From exile, and grow man. And now the bridge is breaking.

For this I bless you as the ruin falls. The pains
You give me are more precious than all other gains.

C S Lewis